The Church

It shocks, it awes -- it's the Church. As I get older my body can only occassionally handle the abuse, debauchery and fun that inevitably ensues by making it out on Sunday afternoon to this lovely place.

There will be a performer. There will be a female "performer". There will be a great combo of Aussies, Kiwis, Americans and others to enjoy. There will be an atmosphere that ensures you are well boozed before leaving, to which you then get the compelling experience of rejoining the real world when the sun is still high in the sky.

Get there at 1pm at the latest, but I recommend noon to begin proper boozing. There will be many folks in fancy dress and I encourage you to do the same, but it's not necessary.

But a word to the wise to all you would-be weekend warriors -- the venue is there to get blasted, have a great time and potentially find an afternoon hookup. The bouncers are extremely kind and want everyone to have fun, but you will feel the consequences if you step out of line.

I give this 4 stars only because its location can be tedious to get to in Clapham Junction compared to its old location in Kentish Town. Even so -- on any given Sunday, you might just see me at the Church.

The ultimate in debauchery and mischief, CHURCH is not for the fainthearted or the lightweights that social drink. Starting at noon, ending at four, It's basically a giant American frat party that's a lot less annoying than american frats because it's all in good fun.

Composed of mostly Aussies, Kiwis and Scots, it's an intense and interesting mix of college students (plus or minus some years) with beer cans in a plastic bag tied to their waste, which actually saves LOTS of time in having to go order more drinks so that you can watch the shows.

I have to say, my absolute favourite show is the singalong, mainly because every time I've been there, it's always something funny about America. I can take a joke. I know our last president was....less than adequate. The singalongs are seriously awesome. Also, there has been known to be a magician on stage that swallows a live goldfish and spits it back up. Alive. And also swallows a cue ball. Clearly, this is worth the £7 admission alone.

Word of warning, if you're a tad bit shy about nudity, perhaps this place isn't for you. The stripper, uh....strips. Everything. All of it. You see it all. Sooo.....yeah. And girls should be real careful about wearing low cut shirts as you will be encouraged to flash the camera.

Altogether, an amazing fun way to spend a Sunday, stumbling home at 4pm ( or later, if you're a trooper and make it to the Shepherd's Bush Walkabout) drunk. Not for the tourist.

One day while I was talking with a fellow friend, they asked me if i had heard of the church. Of course, I have heard of Church, but since I'm Jewish it's never really struck a fancy of mine to really attend, but as i got the details of this Church... I have never been so excited to go.

This place to say the least is AWESOME. Coming here I had no idea what to expect, where to go, what time to get there or anything, luckily i had Mark S. who knew the route, time and pretty much the scope of the whole area and place which was good to have since I would have been completely lost.

The first thing I saw were people dressed as if it were Halloween, which got me really excited since Halloween is my favorite holiday. There were people dressed as nuns, nurses, surfers, life guards, you name it, they're there. You don't have to dress up though, but do prepare yourself for quite the time as it may get a little messy. The usual outlook for the church is you get there, you get your token for beers, 3 in a bag for 9 quid, then you make your way to the floor beneath the stage where you are in for quite a Sunday. There are multiple people from different areas, a comedian, drinking contests, musical chairs and a sexy performer to make your day at church the best ever.

i might be Jewish, but The Church is definitely my favorite Sunday activity :]

Wigs, drinking competitions, raunchy shows, fancy dress, drinks in bags of three, the longest queue ever, making friends and breaking friends. Sword fighting on the tube. Saw dust on the floor.
The key is, you can't be "ready" it's a matter of pulling up your bootstraps with barely (if any) sleep from Saturday and tubing it to the Church.


Can you hold my beer?


While I snog your mate?

The Church is the ultimate bender in London on a Sunday. Based in Kentish Town it starts at 12pm and closes strictly at 4pm (bar closes 3.30pm). It is a quick fire bender that is about explosive fun. Every week the place attracts hundreds of mainly Aussies, Kiwi's and South Africans who know how to party. The afternoon disco takes place in a huge warehouse that is minimalist in décor. This is wise as it gets very messy inside.

The drinks are served in an off-license style. You can order one drink for £3 or three drinks for £7. The choices of drinks are Carling, Strongbow and Smirnoff Ice, that will be given to you in a plastic bag.

The music is alternative and they often have live bands and strippers.

It is £7 to get in and the queues can be massive. My advice is get there early. Dressing up in something bizarre helps as the bouncers will move you to the front of the queue.

Most people go out Saturday night, go to an after party, and then head to the Church. You'd imagine that most people are already smashed. You'd be right they are. The true troopers once 4pm passes then head on to the Walkabout, Shepherds Bush. Only the hardcore make it.

The Church is an almighty, hedonistic party that is not for the light-hearted. If you can handle it, I'll see you there.

You either hate or love THE CHURCH.
I love it!!!:)

Most important: you have to dress up! The funnier the better! This place is something that I haven't seen anywhere else before! Open from 12-4pm on Sundays the church is already very special. You can't just buy 1 drink, no you get a voucher and for this you get 3 drinks at the bar. You can carry the drinks around in a little plastic bag, but because that's really annoying you drink even quicker.

There are strippers on stage, drinking games, wet T-shirt contest and loads of other stuff... A camera follows people around and catches them in the worst moments to write funny comments about them which everyone can see on the big screen.

This is a place to get drunk and meet people mainly from Australia and New Zealand. Don't go there if you don't like drunk people and crazyness.

But you will love it if you are a bit crazy yourself!

I came here one Sunday afternoon after a long night out with some friends and I totally couldn't get over the amount of people in here.
The majority of the people here were Kiwis or South African for some reason and everyone was very drunk and having lots of fun.
Mid way though the day a stripper came on stage which was totally unexpected. Afterwards people started jumping on the stage dancing.
From what I can remember the tunes were good and we had a good night, I mean day. How confusing.

My hero invented this place.
I love drinking on Sundays, but that's slightly besides the point.

I imagine some incredibly awesome dude was like to his mate, "Hey, you know what would be f*ing class? A club that would only be on Sundays. When no one is ready for the party to stop, and everyone is just loopy and drunk from being out since Friday after work"
and his mate was like, "Ya, and we could have like performers"
and his other friend was like, "Ya, like a comedian and a magician"
and He was like, "Ya, and female "performers"! Oh and what if we made people get on stage for drinking competitions. And the girls in the audience would flash everybody on a big screen projector. People could dress up in fancy dress. It would be the greatest party ever. Every Sunday. And we shall call it The Church!" And he and his friends just sat around drinking at 6am on a Sunday going back and forward on what would be the best way to spend a Sunday at this so called Church they were dreaming up.
And some stupid mate of his was most likely like "ya you're dreaming man. Good luck with that. It will never happen. We all say were going to open a bar and have this or that happen...never does... let alone some magical club with half naked woman dancing followed by an awesome magician at a place where everyone must order three drinks at a time"

A HA! well jokes on you mate, cause it did happen. It all came true. I don't know who thought this place up, but i imagine it is just some awesome person's dream that started with lots of sentences such as "and wouldn't it be class if we had...." and the ideas just kept on rolling.

Thanks to whoever you are. I appreciate the genius in the whole thing and I admire you for actually making it happen.

This place is insane. Who knew there would be a place for drinking only during the day on sundays?!? Packed with Aussies, Americans, and crazy brits, this place is wild. People getting wasted with cheap Foster's beer, others dressed in ridiculous outfits, and a random strip tease on stage in the middle of it all. The cameras spin around and put unsuspecting people on the big screen with titles like "fake ID club" and "show us your boobs!". A wild good time and something everyone should do at least once in London.

Simply an awesome place. Never seen something compareable.
Start drinking at eleven, party and show start at twelve.
Everyone is wearing funny/slutty costumes. Amazing crowd. Sadly they close at four, but a lot of the people go to the walkabout club afterwards where the party continues.